What happens when someone dies? Of course, it depends on how and where the person dies. I will describe to you what happens when someone dies at home from natural causes – for example, from old age or illness.
When someone dies, there are two phone calls that need to be made: one to medical personnel, such as a hospice nurse or attending physician, and one to a funeral home director (also known as an undertaker). The medical personnel is needed to confirm the person is indeed dead. Ultimately, the attending physician will sign the death certificate. Once the death has been confirmed by medical personnel, the undertaker can remove the body to the funeral home to prepare it for burial. Usually this includes embalming, but often the body is also cleaned up if necessary, and the hair may be done or makeup applied to help make the body look natural. The undertaker will also dress the body in a set of clothes selected by the family for burial.
Besides the clothes, there are other details that the family must arrange with the funeral home director. A casket (also called a coffin) must be selected, as well as a vault where the casket will be in the ground. Pallbearers, whose job it is to carry the coffin, must be asked to serve. Dates and times for the wake and funeral will be set, and the cemetery must be notified so the grave can be opened. The funeral service must be planned, including whether it will be in a church or a funeral parlor, whether a minister will officiate, whether someone will give a eulogy, whether there will be any special music, and so on. An obituary is usually written and submitted to the local newspaper. Flowers may be ordered for decorating the casket. There are so many things to think about. It may be overwhelming for a grieving family, so sometimes people “pre-arrange” their own funeral – they pick out the coffin, make other arrangements, and sometimes even pay for the funeral in advance. Making such plans ahead of time certainly helps the family out.
If a person is going to be cremated (rather than buried), the family will not have to make decisions such as what casket to select, or what clothes the deceased will be buried in. The body will still have to be prepared before cremation – for example, if the deceased had a pacemaker or other implanted medical devices, these would be removed before cremation. In the case of cremation, the body is sent to a crematory (place for cremating a dead body), and after that process has been completed, the crematory will send the ashes (called cremains) back to the funeral home. Some people choose to get an urn (a type of vase) for the cremains, and keep the cremains in their home. Others choose to bury the cremains in the grave at the cemetery.
Many times the family will choose to have a wake (also known as a viewing or a visitation) the day or night before the funeral. The purpose of a wake is to let friends and acquaintances, etc. pay their respects and extend their sympathies to the family. Sometimes a family may opt to have the funeral and/or burial be private (family only), and a wake would be the only opportunity for others to pay their respects. Others may have to work, and would therefore not be able to attend the funeral, which is during the day. At the wake, visitors may sign a guest book, and may choose to make a donation in memory of the deceased. Some might even send flowers as a gesture of sympathy.
On the day of the funeral, people gather at the church or funeral home for the service. A minister or other speaker usually shares a short message on the brevity of life, the blessedness of heaven or the afterlife, or something similar. A speaker, who may or may not be the same as the one who officiates, often gives a eulogy – a memorial speech honoring the life of the deceased. After the funeral service, the pallbearers carry the casket out to the waiting hearse (special car that can hold a casket). Those who are going to the interment (burial) get into their cars and line up behind the hearse. The cars in the cortege (funeral procession) will have their headlights on and be flagged with a “funeral” emblem to indicate that they are part of the procession. The hearse will lead the cortege on the drive to the cemetery. Traffic must yield to the funeral cortege: if the hearse goes through an intersection with a traffic signal and the light changes, the procession is allowed to proceed uninterrupted, even though the light is red. Furthermore, other cars are not permitted to interrupt the cortege. A funeral cortege also has the right-of-way at stop signs.
At the cemetery, the pallbearers remove the casket from the hearse and place it on a lowering device over the open grave. The speaker will give a few brief words, and then the casket is lowered into the waiting vault. The funeral and interment are over.
After the interment, it is customary to provide a luncheon or some sort of meal before everyone departs. If the funeral was held in a church, this luncheon might be prepared by the ladies of the church on behalf of the family. Otherwise, the family might invite those present at the interment to a nearby restaurant. Oftentimes the talk at the luncheon is of reminiscing about the deceased, or of family days gone by. At the conclusion of the luncheon, everyone makes his goodbyes and goes on his way, and the family begins a new chapter in their lives, a chapter without their loved one.