June – the traditional month for weddings – is just around the corner, I thought I’d take a look at wedding showers for this Culture Focus. You probably know what a wedding is, and what a shower is, but what does the phrase “wedding shower” mean?
A “shower” is a special party for a person – usually, a pregnant woman (“mother-to-be”) or, in today’s Culture Focus example, a woman engaged to be married (“bride-to-be”) – to give the lady presents especially suited for the big change in life that she is about to experience. So, a “wedding shower” is held for a bride-to-be, and the gifts given to her are intended to help her establish a household with her new husband. The origin of the bridal shower probably stems from the older practice of a bridal dowry.
Who usually attends a wedding shower? Well, of course the bride-to-be will be there, but not the future groom. Showers are overwhelmingly attended by women (and sometimes teenage girls), so most men will be glad to escape to the golf course or other safe place while their wife or girlfriend is at the shower. Most of the time it is the bride’s maid of honor who is responsible for arranging for the shower: the maid of honor will invite the women to come, arrange for refreshments, plan a few games or other activities for the shower, and so on. The other bridesmaids may help the maid of honor with the planning and logistics of this task, especially if there will be a lot of women at the shower. Other ladies who are generally invited to the shower include the female relatives of the bride (her mother, grandmother, sisters, aunts, cousins, etc.) as well as female relatives of the groom. Close friends of the bride are also invited. And, of course, the females in the bridal party (maid of honor, bridesmaids) are also there.
What kinds of gifts are usually given at a bridal shower? Traditionally, the purpose of a wedding shower was to help the newlyweds establish a home together, so the gifts tended to be focused on practical things, such as kitchen appliances – toasters, blenders, pots and pans, etc. – and other items for the house – towels, bed clothes and other linens, dishes, silverware, etc. Nowadays, though, many single people are accustomed to having lived on their own after getting out of college, so there is more flexibility with the gifts given to the new couple. To help provide guidance as to what items the bride and groom need, many engaged couples set up a “bridal registry” at a department store. This registry is the couple’s “wish list,” and people can take a look at it to give them an idea as to what to buy for the couple. If they buy the present at the store where the couple is registered, then the list will be updated so others who access the list will know that the couple no longer need a bath towel set, for example. The concept of a “bridal registry” is very convenient – no matter how much a couple may enjoy toast with their breakfast, they surely don’t need five toasters!
What do women do at a bridal shower? Just like any other party, there is a lot of talking and eating! Rather than serving a full meal, the food is usually “finger food” (appetizers, snacks, small sandwiches, and the like), and generally a cake. Besides talking and eating, the bride will open her presents, while the other guests admire her gifts. It is said that for every ribbon the bride breaks while unwrapping her presents, she will have a child. So, if she breaks five ribbons in the course of opening her gifts, she will have five children! Of course, this is just a fun fable, and there is no truth to it, but people like to guess how many children are in store for the new couple. Finally, there might be a few games or activities for the shower attendees to enjoy, such as “How well does the bride know the groom?”, “Bridal Bingo” (based on what types of presents the bride gets at her shower), “Design the Bridal Gown,” or “Advice for the Bride.”